Let me say right up front a deeply-felt thank you for your prayers, your gifts, your words of encouragement and support. I can feel them carrying me, carrying us toward healing. I’m serious when I say I’ve needed every prayer, every reassuring word, every act of support. So, again, thank you.
We now have a pretty clear picture of what exactly happened and is happening to me: I had a hippocampal stroke (I believe the exact term used was something like “isolated acute hippocampal infarction,” but don’t quote me), which explains why it felt so terrifyingly strange when it happened—I thought I might be having a psychotic break—and why my aftershock symptoms have been “all over the place” physically as well as cognitively and emotionally.
I’m told that as I heal some if not all of the effects from the stroke are going to persist: disorientation, heavy fatigue, sleeplessness, emotional volatility, anxiety, depression, memory lapses, “word swapping,” etc. The good news is that the damage to my hippocampus was actually minimal (the MRI showed the infarcted area was small and limited to one lobe), and I should make a full recovery as my brain is given the time it needs to do its work.
I struggle with migraines, as many of you already know, which complicates matters considerably. In part because the medicine I have been using for years seems to have contributed to the stroke (although they are still not sure what caused the clotting), and in part because some of the symptoms for migraines overlap considerably with symptoms for a stroke. So, pray the new medicines work wonders. And while you’re praying, pray my brain delights in the work it needs to do and that I’ll be able to give it whatever it needs to succeed. Pray that I can sleep. Pray that I’m smart about what I eat. Pray that I make and keep a good exercise routine. Most of all, pray for my wife and kids! I’m no saint, it turns out, but I do seem to be better than most at contributing to their making!
Obviously, in the aftermath of such a life-changing event, I’m re-evaluating my priorities. At least in the short run, I’m going to have to make serious changes to my writing and speaking schedule. But I’m not fretting it. One of the gifts hidden in such a traumatic experience is the chance to make changes I’ve wanted and needed to make. Another is the clarity that has come regarding what actually matters to me, and why. I find the work I’m doing here on this blog to be life-giving, not stressful or taxing. So, as long as it continues to be restorative and energizing for me, and not harmful to my recovery (I have friends who have promised to help me discern what’s best, and of course Julie will have the last word), I’ll continue to post as regularly as I can.
Continuing to pray for you and your family! May God's healing restore you and give you peace.
Have been praying and will continue. So grateful for an encouraging update, even as I can only imagine the substantiality of all you are navigating. Just led a book group at our parish through Surprised by God and they will be praying with and for you and y’all, too.